Sic A Wife As Willie Had

Willie Wastle dwalton Tweed,
The spot they ca’d it Linkumdoddie;
Willie was a wabstergude,
Could stowna clue wi’ ony body:
He had a wife was dour and din,
O TinklerMaidgie was her mither;
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wad nagie a button for her!

She has ane’e, she has but ane,
The cat has twathe very colour;
Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
A clapper tongue wad deavea miller:
A whiskin beard about her mou’,
Her nose and chin they threaten ither;
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wadna gie a button for her!

She’s bow-hough’d, she’s hein-shin’d,
Aelimpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
She’s twisted right, she’s twisted left,
To balance fair in ilka quarter:
She has a lump upon her breast,
The twino’that upon her shouther;
Sic a wife as Willie had,
I wadna gie a button for her!

Auldbaudronsbythe inglesits,
An’wi’ her loof her face a-washin;
ButWillie’s wife is naesaetrig,
She dights her grunziewi’a hushion;
Her walienieves like midden-creels,
Her face wadfylethe Logan Water;
Sica wife as Willie had,
I wadnagiea button for her!